There is so much peace to be found in people's faces
— Kae Tempest
EYE-COLOUR
Here’s a quick, easy trick for you. The next person you find yourself talking to — notice their eye-colour. Just for yourself. They do not need to know what you are doing.
"What colour are those eyes?" Just for a moment, you are leaving behind your focus on yourself and are instead focussing on the other.
The other person will feel that you are giving them your full attention. The conversation will go better. They will feel seen.
And all you are doing is using your curiosity as a tool.
Practice this for a bit and you will find that you are effortlessly engaging with other people, with ease, flow and generosity.
It takes practice and courage to truly look at the other person — and to truly rest in the light of their gaze. Why? In his book ETHICS AND INFINITY (1985), philosopher Emmanuel Levinas says:
The face is what forbids us to kill.
Maybe we fear the vulnerability of being looked at? Of revealing ours…